i put too many cili padi in my cooking today

disclaimer: i am not well and have thousands of things on my mind so i'll be extra bitchy tis time but this is trully how i feel, not just because i'm under influence of stress and hormones..to whom i referring to here, nk terase, terase la...u deserve a big fat slap to wake u up!

orang tua2 slalu bilang
jgn slalu ckp x de duit, nnt x de duit betul br tau
deserve you rite la
time senang buat2 sombong ngn aku
aku tegur buat tak layan
now dh ssh tahu pulak nk cr aku
giler muka tak tahu malu seyhhhh
vavi tul so called friends camni
nampak baik sgt ngn si polan polan tu
siap beli tiket sekali per, nape x mintak tolong diaorg jer?
aku jugak yg ko cari
aku mls je nk tegur cr ko spend duit ko
ye la, duit ko, ikut suka ko la
tapi smpai sewa umah sndri pon x leh byr, ape kess?!
pandai2 la manage duit
igt aku tak tau camne ko shopping
weyh, retail therapy only works to certain level and only if u have tonnes of extra money to burn
kalu aku tegur kan nnt terase plak
mula la moody, jumpe buat2 tak nampakla
tak bertegur sape la
aku tak tegur pon dh lyn aku cam i'm nothing, kalu aku tegur lgla
dh tau duit x de, mintakla ngn FAMA awal2
dgr kate bapak dh jd VIP, sure kantung penuh
kalu x nk sshkan mak bapak pandai2la jimat
x yah la beli benda yg x perlu
kalu ikut nafsu camni la jadinyer
aku pon terigin byk bende tp boley je thn
x mati pon klau x de baju Guess or bag TNA
ckp x de duit nak beli laptop baru tp beli ipod ade plak duit
mane lg penting?
laptop nk blajar ke ipod nk dgr lagu?
bknnyer x de mp3 player
dh ade kn? n it's still working good i see
nk cr umah yg dekat n sewa murah
murah camne pon aku x tau kalu cad500 tu kire mhl
jd homeless la, x yah byr sewa langsung
nk bilik plg kecik sbb nk sewa plg murah
pastu nnt kalu merengek bilik kecik x best mmg nk mkn penampar aku la
sekarang ni pon kire bertuah ko duk bilik besar tp byr sama rata
kesian hsemet ko
sedar tak?
pasni aku mls dh nk lyn ur moodiness
igt ko sorg ade mood nk org lyn?
aku x buat pape pon kat ko tp ko buat bitchy ngn aku
cr org lain la nk menempel pasni
aku tolong ni pon sbb just in case in da future manela tau i need your help pulak
jgn nk kate aku kwn yg x baik, cermin diri sndri dulu
grow up n b responsible n dun count on others to clean up ur mess

sick dalilah make a bad med stud

so i skip another PE review session again
of the 4 sessions, i skipped once before due to the fact my alarm fail to woke me up
i cut short one session because i have to practice Well Man *interesting details later*
and i was late for yesterday session by few minutes
totally not a good impression be made
he prob thinks i'm lazy n disinterested
if he were to write evaluation on me, for sure it'll be very bad
but i really cannot bring myself to go
the whole fever+cold combo had me bedridden the whole day *ok, mayb a lil exaggerate here* but seriusly i'm still not well
the bloody expensive Benylin doesn't seems to help much
cessss...membazir duit gue~
nothing can ever replace good old Panadol but they don't have it here
balik Mesia nnt make sure beli byk2 buat stok heheh

it's you, and only you...

this number is from Aizat, another product of AF
personally i think he's very talented dat it is a shame ppl still blinded by his commercial look or lack of it
when will Malaysia's viewer get the idea dat talents trumps looks?
anyway, this is a good piece so enjoy!



Ku cuba redakan relung hati
Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi
Terlukis didalam kenangan
Bebas bermain di hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu
Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Cerita tentang masa lalu
Cerita tentang kau dan aku
Kini tinggal hanya kenangan
Kau abadi dalam hatiku

Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooo...

Ooooo..
Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuat ku terpuruk rasa ingin mati
Derita yang mendera kapan akan berakhir
Hanya engkau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

Aku cinta ooo.....

Hanya engkau yang mampu
Taklukkan hatiku...

it's lovely

this feeling

i have once felt
and will feel again

pink of health

3 am- scratchy throat
erk....flu-like illness?
self med:cetylpyridinium chloride 1.5 mg+benzocaine 3.0 mg a.k.a pharynx lozenges + bed rest

9 am-stuffy nose, scratchy throat, post nasal drip
oh oh doesn't sounds good
self med:sinucidin (combo of paracetamol, HCl, chlorpheniramine)

4 pm-drugs kicking in, doze off while ppl playing hot potato game amidst Mai's bday party *so sorry Mai!*

10 pm-throat still scratchy, temp fluctuating, achy body
just hope i won't loss my voice for the OSCE exam this Thursday n Friday or else the SP n examiner would think i'm trying to score extra marks wat's with my serak-serak basah voice auw!

kitchen nightmares

try to make agar-agar with nata de coco cubes
tak keras elok
have to scoop with spoon
agar-agar projet:FAIL

try to bake chocolate cupcakes
tak jadi jugak
only 10 sort of pass lah
6 went into tong sampah
another 6 penyek in da middle
chocolate cupcakes project:FAIL



my midas touch in da kitchen
where art thou?

what it's like?

my group had a 72 year old sweet grandpa as a patient yesterday
he has a history of recurrent heart attacks for the last 6 yrs and now presenting with what seems like congestive heart failure (with all the positive PE findings wow!)
on further interrogation, we found out that he is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict
have been drinking since 10 years old and doing drugs since 12
he run away from home at very young age, sleeping in the alley, getting into gang fights etc
just listening to his story had me thinking
how much your body can take looking at how bad we treated n abuse ourself but hey, look at him, 72 and still alive despite wat a 'wreck' he is right now wats with no pension or savings and multiple health condition needing treatments

i can only imagine going through his childhood
when i was 10 i was running around with frens at school
and he's running around chasing bottles
when i was 12 the biggest worry was will i'll be able to score in my 1st big exam
his was how to get thru the day without the high he shooting himself with

it's sad and sounds so awfully wrong
no one should go thru dat kind of life
but perhaps dats the most important life lesson to be learn
LIFE IS HARD
but dat's just life, eh?

damn blind meh?!

came across this in Marina Mahathir's blog

"Khairy gets backing for post

IPOH: Khairy Jamaluddin is the most appropriate person to replace Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein as Umno Youth chief, Perak Umno Youth chief Zainol Fadzi Paharudin said.

Pledging his support for the Umno Youth deputy chief, Zainol Fadzi said Khairy had demonstrated the qualities of a leader of calibre during his tenure as the movement’s number two.

“He is also an effective and loyal deputy to Hishammuddin. His ability and experience have been proven time and again in the agenda and political struggles of Umno Youth,” he said in a statement yesterday"

all together now
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*rotfl*

just a thought

u know it's time to get a new shoes when someone called out ur name from the adjacent toilet cubicle

little pinky says oink and everybody screams

another old issue here
concerning the 'gift' from PAS to the rakyat upon winning the election
yup, the new 'zoo' of Selangor
some goes even to the extent of accusing PAS as menghalalkan our cute little pinky fren
since when is giving a green light to open an integrated pig farm is considered haram?
plus, from wat i reckon the project was already given a go by the previous state government
if they gonna argue about how the money would be haram then wat about the revenues from alcohol n cigarettes dat is declared as haram by Majlis Fatwa Islam back then?
isn't it also considered haram?
i have no idea why when the slight mention of this pinky creature causes so many ruckus
like for instance when the vet students taking picture with this particular patient
i love wat this ustaz have to say about it

silent love

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apa pun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Kutahu kutakkan slalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Kutahu kutakkan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang kucari selama ini
Dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apa pun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

"cinta tak semestinya bersatu..."

brokeback

my back is literally broken from moving
now n the next few months i'll be a hermit in my new basement bedroom
but i love it albeit the absence of furniture n my stuffs are all over the floor
i haven't got my mattress yet from the bruneians place due to the fact it haven't stop snowing since yesterday wtf?!
how la to carry a mattress 2 blocks away in snow?
i'm tired from all the packing n angkut-ing stuffs n unpacking
think i'm gonna sleep now n start studying tmr~
zzzzzzzzzzz [while smiling- i juz love my new crib!]

done!

after much thinking n lamenting n worrying up to the point of breaking (yes, i broke down n cry because indecisiveness of me) i finally got my ticket!!!!



i'll be fying with SIA this summer
well, mayb not the new boieng but i heard great stories about SIA so for the money i spend, i hope it's worth it
shhhhhh...dun tell my parents i'll be alone n have to spend the nite in Singapore *wink wink*

p/s:thanks to all of you who help with ur 2 cents on my prev post on choosing which airlines. really appreciate it!

don't turn a blind eye

how many of us ever been in this situation before?
regardless if it's about relationship or work or studying or just day to day life

easier said than done is it?
not to stare long at the door dats slammed us in da face
most of the time we just stood there staring at the closed door for long time from the sheer shock n perhaps denial dat we lost sights of everything else

but there will come the day even without losing sight of the closed door it come to u dat other doors is wide open n waiting for u but u just can't seems to tear ur eyes still from dat closed door

even harder to take the first step away
but one thing i learn is not to
not until u really truly ready
even if it's gonna take you forever
because if u do before, u gonna end up back staring at the closed door

so, just let me stare a moment more

be afraid...be very afraid

i really should be all mengelabah n kelam kabut
but somehow i feel so perfectly lengai
considering the fact i have HPOP final which account to the length of my summer hols in few days n there's tonnes to read n i still haven't started yet
plus i have to pack n move out this weekend!!!

why am i so indolent n not caring if i am?
whoaaaaa~
dangerousio
i really deserve a big fat slap to wake me up
one push
dat's all i need

ok, back to trying to start studying

still undecided

am still on da fence here
should i go on Cathay Pacific for CAD1800++ or MAS for CAD1900++ or SIA for CAD1800++?

if i go on Cathay it's gonna be a jolly group fun? but horrible seats n not so nice food?
MAS is known with comfort n good food but i'll be alone in LA for the 1st time plus all those scary immigration stories n the fact i have to stay overnight on da way back here ALONE! not dat i mind...a lil adventure y'all!
SIA deal is not bad at all considering their reputation

mum won't let me travel alone just in case something happen but being me heheh safe to say if i can get away with it, why not?
n so far i'm just fine

...decision...decision...decision...
HELP!!!!

to a very special person

this is dedicated to a GREAT guy who has always been there for me when i needed him
regardless the distance between us, his words of encouragement never fails to reach me
glad that i can say over the years we grew up together, friendship lost and found
we hold strong until now

on this special day denoting ur 24th year on this spinning rock
i wish u the very best in life
hope you'll get all what u dream of and more
and forever thank you for being the best guy friend a girl can ask for

p/s: i'll be back this summer so save a date for the next Harry Potter movie, will ya?!

sunday=SUNny+DAY

the weather is freakingly good today!
so damn nice you can go around outdoors in bikini no kidding!
for the 1st time in months i can finally go out sans the jacket
o Lord thank you thank you so very much!

so me n Kesum went out, strolling around in just tops n jeans
usha-ing topless guys playing balls
aahhh-ing n oohhh-ing on their broad chest n washboard abs
ngeeeee~

ouh, this means i need to get a new sunnies n those sunblocks
n a pair of bikini wouldn't hurt too~
n flip flops...i dun have one yet
thehehehehe
beach trip anyone?

everlasting

Ku membenarkan jiwaku untuk mencintaimu
Ku persembahkan hidupku untuk bersama kamu
Dan diriku untuk kamu
Belum pernah kumerasai begitu

Semua itu telah berlalu
Harapanku palsu
Dan mungkin hari yang satu
Terus ku tertunggu
Di hatiku masih kamu
Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya satu
Hanya kamu

Ku membiarkan hatiku
Untuk merinduimu
Ku menghamparkan sakitku
Untuk tatapan kamu

Bersamamu harapanku
Hilang dalam terang yang membutakanku

Dan segala yang ku ada
Ku berikan semua
Untuk dirimu saja

Ku mahu dirimu
Bahagia untuk selamanya
Biar sampai syurga
Aku menunggu cinta darimu
Agar ku sempurna

Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik tuk diriku
Hanya satu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu

shopping time!

it's back!
all 50 gloriously eye candy eligible male meat on parade to be salivated over
ngeeeeee~

if other average Joes walking down the streets think this is degrading and self esteem destroyer, think again the next time u pick up the FHM issue with the list of hot looking women

time to pay back ladies
drools n giggles n pores to ur heart content here
let me know ur pick

p/s: too bad our "astronaut" is no longer eligible, if not i bet he'll be one of the them. bet ya he'll snag the title too

what happened to spring?

i was ecstatic yesterday walking home from school
the green young shoots of grass start peeking out
n the forecast says it's gonna be 20 degrees this weekend
then i woke up to this



OMFG!
i can't believe that MUCH? of snow at this TIME? of the year
*shake heads*
if one thing Canada's weather have in common with we women is our unpredictable mood swings in a blink of an eye

green hulk

can't sleep til 4 last nite
despite lights out at 1130 n eyes shut closed
my mind won't shut down, generating possible scenarios of next morning com skill
oooohh how i always dreaded it

then i go in n guess wat i had to deal with?
a very CUTE angry man
oh ok a very cute ANGRY man
u know the type dat won't open up?
tanye pat ploh patah jwb setengah patah kinda patient?
horrible k?
god forbids if u ask the wrong question silap2 aribln u get scolded back
it makes the whole interview painfully hard n awkward
as if not enuf wit me who find it hard to build rappot n make communication a mesra one

i ask why he was here
he stated why n i proceed asking the standard questions trying to come up with differential diagnosis but it was dry n bland like the gravy at ikea
my heart was screaming at me to just run out but i stay n carefully prodded
eheh, not so carefully or subtle when i run out of questions to ask n vomited
"ur angry, why r u so angry?"
NOT a good choice of words
but then surprisingly, it makes the rest of the session better

the fake patient even commented dat i did great in handling this kinda of pain-in-da-ass patient
n my preceptor also surprised on how i didn't back down n manage to address the patient's emotional struggle
oh well, it's not like i can just run out of the room crying like dat can i?

i bite

currently feeling...

...mood swings yg mcm sial

refraining self from dealing with other homo sapiens

aaaahhh

the wonderful blessings of being the one with ovaries n uterus

spring BBQ fun!

tired.smelly.full
just gonna let the pics speaks for the fun we had BBQ-ing



BBQ-ing



the chicken
*drools*



homemade burgers n sausages
*double drools*



special menu of da day: chicken bones!



the feast!



poor nisa =(



burning all da extra calories



time for sum fun!





ribena berry kids



flying without wings~



up up n away SuperBulat





njoying the sun



adeih, patah la pinggang gue~



~chiquititas~



nisa's failed attempt making dry grass shower



spring jump!



gabby is enjoying himself
*ok dats sounds awfully wrong eheh*



get in da car ppl! we're going home~



THE END

what went wrong, sufiah?

this news on Sufiah Farooq is a bit old i know but a few things come across my mind reading it dat i have to pen it down

almost everyone know the story of this gifted child who made it into Oxford at tender age of 13. it is sad to see how she turn out to be like this today but stories of child prodigy taking the unseemingly path is not a new news in itself. ever heard of Asia Carrera? or closer to home, the boy genius who adopted by Prof Ungku Aziz but now is flipping roti canai for living. i am no genius myself but one thing i can understand is they been put under a lot of pressure by ppl who doesn't even know them to perform well in their life. to use their gift to benefit others. ever wonder about what they want?

if u were to dig deeper into sufiah past, u'll find what seems to me a ridiculous ideology her parents esp her father imposed on her n her siblings. yes, it's good to develop your child potential to its max but with all that rules n confines? no wonder she acted so rebellious as she did. well, all of us who is average being at some point of our life, mostly during our teenage years went thru this rebellion stage. we do as we please. we do things to make our parents feel bad. the worst they feel about our action, the better. maybe what sufiah is going thru here is her own version of rebellion phase. this is not her first time doing something out of expected, she went mia a couple yrs back, abandoning her studies just like dat

sure one can argue of all the ways to make a decent living, why she choose this path? she can use her gift/curse but she decided not to. why? dats the question only sufiah and sufiah alone can answer. and to say she didn't know wat she's doing is wrong, she was brought up with a good Islamic teaching so i really can't fathom her decision but then again, i'm not in her shoes.

what i don't understand here has nothing to do with her. i dun understand why Malaysian government is so eager wanting to help her. wat's with all this Safe Sufiah prog n all? she is not even a Malaysian by birth or by any means. the only link she has is her mother who went to study oversea (is it under scholarship?) n nvr return n probably no longer a citizen of Malaysia. i dun even see the need to give her scholarship in the first place. it's not like she gonna come back to Malaysia n gave back to our nation other than the mere mention of her mother birthplace. not dat i'm saying she doesn't deserve it but there is more than Malaysian gov already can handle in their own backyard. why not focus there first before reaching out for this half Malaysian population who doesn't even set a foot on Malaysia soil until the awarding of scholarship (itu pon sekali tu jer). if it were up to me, i wouldn't even acknowledge her as a Malay. she was not born a Malay n never raised as one, so when ppl labelled her as a Muslim Malay, for me dat is a one big wrong label. if the government said they are doing it because she is a Muslim, then why aren't other Islamic country doing the same? then again, look at our own backyard, is government doing anything to help Malay Muslim girls whose in the same situation as her?

happier self

this is how i used to feel with you

-You're in my arms-And all the world is calm-The music playing on for only two-So close together-And when I'm with you-So close to feeling alive-As life goes by -Romantic dreams will start-So I bid mine goodbye and never knew-So close was waiting, waiting here with you-And now forever I know-All that I wanted to hold you-So close-So close to reaching that famous happy end-Almost believing this was not pretend-And now you're beside me and look how far we've come-So far we are so close-How could I face the faceless days-If I should lose you now?-We're so close-To reaching that famous happy end-Almost believing this was not pretend-Let's go on dreaming for we know we are-So close-So close-And still so far-

but u don't know dat, do u?
i wish u do
*sighhhhhhh*

p/s: listen carefully at 2:01 n u'll hear mcdreamy sang for her, dat's da sweetest thing ever! *melting*

*jumping up and down*

i'm feeling good~



oh yess i am~



yeah baby, feeling good huh?!



nothing spells like a big S to finally confirm
I'M COMING HOME THIS SUMMER!!!!

yeap!
i PASS my *literally* heart stopper Course III exam!!!
this means all my summer plans gonna go accordingly
lalalalalalalalalalalala
saya sangat suka hati~

now i just have to pass my HPOP final n my med skill exam n Course IV certifying so dat i dun have to cut short my holiday
whoaaaaa~
dat's a BIG worklad

but for now ppl, i am gonna be breathing Malaysia's air this coming June!
i'm gonna eat all those delicious foods n go shopping n yeah, spend time wit moi famili n frens
uuuuuuu inda sabar jua mau pulang!!!!
ngeeeeeeee~

p/s: to dear nanaIn, i lap u so much la lalinks! thanks for the thoughtful entry on me n ur prayers! i bloody pass! can u believe it?! so nnt boley la ronggeng2 yeah!

uncertainties

".......My point is that whoever said 'What you don't know can’t hurt you,' was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world."
-meredith-

TRUE
soooo freakingly true